Start by asking her basic informational questions, such as where she is from, what her family is like and what she enjoys doing in her free time. Being able to spend time with someone without the pressure to come up with witty and intelligent things to talk about is a beautiful thing. In time, she will open up and let you in. Mother knows best but there is an exemption In some culture, family bonding is stronger than anything else and mother rules the entire family. So the ball is in your court now. Telling her funny, embarrassing secrets about herself both lightens the mood and makes her feel like she can trust you because you trusted her with your embarrassing experience. Talk to her about your job, your childhood, and your interests.
My method is to lie my face off. Give her reassurance when she goes out to do something difficult such as meeting your friends or family. He used to email me and text me and then he stopped but his in person reactions to me have not faltered. Japanese girls who had spent some time abroad or who had dated some non-Japanese men appreciate this kind of gesture. Be clear about where you want the relationship to go and give her the space to decide if she wants the same thing. Reading this will not make you a Casanova overnight.
Naturally intimidated by new people and social situations, shy women withdraw in silence to keep their composure and to feel a sense of control. Treat her with respect and prove you are trustworthy, honest and sincere. It will be good to add a humor in your conversation. On the contrary, this may not be the case here and your date may only be taking her own time getting to know you. Most introverts are not interested in going to a loud bar or dance club. Give her the space that she needs so that she feel rejuvenated and more able to socialize. In order to get a shy girl to let loose, you must first gain her trust.
As a man you should know what you want. Just tell her what you have to say, then move on. The key to impressing a shy personality is to ease your way into their personal space and domain. Ask her questions about her life. Find a common interest that you can bond over. These are the things that Japanese girls sort of expect from a non Japanese boyfriend. Maybe that is why we are still married.
Don't engage into too much of flirting straight away because that may make her conscious. Though you should avoid pushing her to move the relationship too quickly, make it clear that you are serious. Make sure to occasionally releive the pressure of certain relationship stereotypes from her like being smooth all the time, or always saying the right thing, basically just make her comfortable and not stressed by your relationship. It is very simple and easy to have a relationship with a shy girl. The shy girl needs more time than the average person to build trust and feel comfortable talking to you. The first date is too early for these kind of comments and they can make her uncomfortable.
Realize that she is probably super nervous talking to you. By asking her questions you are taking the pressure off of her to come up with something to talk about. Japanese men do not know how to treat girls like men from Western culture do. I crave being with him even if it is just to be near him. This has been going on for over a year! And don't forget to use fractionation on her. Taking a slow, sensitive approach when getting past the guard of a shy girl is the most effective way to begin a relationship with her.
I agree with all you say with concern about 10. Well your date with a shy girl is your chance to be the actor in real life. Break the ice and get the ball rolling by. If you have set your eyes on a girl and want her to like you, then the first thing that you need to know is that every girl is different. Be careful not to get too personal at first, warns Gabor -- steer clear of emotional topics such as health, money, family problems or moral values. Once you find a subject that interests both of you, find more ways to bring that subject into your conversations.
So once you've been chatting away and feel like warming things up a bit, candidly hold her hand. And the most effective way to make her feel something is through physical touch. However, you will need to groom yourself at the very least if you want to win a girl over. Why else would she have asked. Find something that you genuinely like about her, then tell her.