You may not agree with my decision, but at least try to understand my plight. Sounds like he sees a future with you. Everything was romantic, I am still madly in love with my dress. Well I layed down my terms and explained that marriage is give and take. Marriage will last a lot longer than any feelings of being left out that you may feel — and dealing with a marriage that turns out to not be right for you will be far worse than just feeling awkward at some couple-filled dinner parties.
These women are educated, have a great job, great homes, gorgeous, and would make the perfect wife. Sure, relationships are happiness and joy and sunshine, but they are also struggle and toil. Really, you may wonder why you even need to go through the hassles of being tied down to just one person for the rest of your life. Does your husband really need to know about the time you wet your pants in fourth grade? And that's all very nice, but if that's the only reason to you want to get married, again, just have the party and forgo the joining-with-rings thing. Reach up to God, and ask Him what the desires of His heart are. If either or both of the above aren't part of your motive for wanting to get married, then you are a rare person indeed. The more this happens, the more they repel others.
The last thing on their mind is becoming their parents! Before you go there, though, I want you to think of these ideas… Figure out why you want to get married Why do you want to get married? I truly believe that life is a game of stages as mentioned here. He knows why you want to get married, and I believe He will provide you with a spouse! Try a few times to get a clear answer from him, and you may be able to get a forced yes or no. They do go in, however, with different expectations. Because marriage is about love or something and not societal pressure. Still, you can never be sure how he feels about marriage unless you ask him. Just don't delude yourself into thinking that you can change his mind.
Even if somehow he feels that you're right and forces himself into a marriage like many people do, then it will almost certainly end badly because he married for the wrong reasons. You know that thing about gays ruining the sanctity of marriage? Give your desire to get married to God Take time to pray. Marriage is less about marrying the right person, and more about becoming the right person. The thought of not sharing your life with them is worse than the thought of losing everything else in your life. Though I'll also add that there's no security in anything, really—not marriage, not employment. The Parent Trap ruined a lot of childhoods. My ideals are quite simple really, mainly fidelity and sobriety.
Maybe you even should try out being selfish for a while in your life — it's fun. But there are other, more subtle signs that matrimony just isn't your bag at this stage in your life, whether you're in a relationship or not. They take the head-on commitment of two people who are able and willing to give all they have to making it work. Growing up, my parents went through a very unhappy stage in their marriage that I think subconsciously haunts me. People in their twenties really grow and change.
The risk being, of course, that if you find something wrong with everyone, you'll end up past your prime with fewer prospects and fewer men to choose from. The sex goes away, the money goes away, The happiness and freedom go away. If he does, great, if he doesn't any time soon it's not an issue that should be pushed. The fact of the matter is that most men like their space. Okay, so I should start this out by saying that I'm 19 years old and he's getting ready to turn 21 next Sunday.
He doesnt want to get engaged right now. They can take the jokes from the media, and from all of their immature, misogynistic friends. Most days I find it difficult to get out of bed and dress myself appropriately. A dating relationship is always considered to be more casual than a marriage. It also likely won't discourage infidelity, passive-aggression or disrespect. They're no more guarantee of marriage than getting married is a sign of staying married. Ask him what he thinks about it.
The real reasons most people want to get married don't have much to do with the internals of the relationship, so much as external factors. My exes taught me what it was to have high standards — which I feel are a must when getting into something as crucial as marriage. Our 4 year anniversary was in July, so I've considered maybe it's just that time where you start re-thinking everything in a relationship and wondering if it's the right thing and if that's what you want, but when I think like that I just know that's not it. I like being able to go out and do something totally stupid with a stranger — that I will definitely regret next week — and trying to find myself and getting hurt. Married men don't mind all the ribbing. Even if you're desperately happy with your partner or even just mostly happy , the idea of settling down forever and ever may set off a small alarm bell in your head.